Our Miracle Baby is on the Way

June 23rd, I’m not feeling good. I’m exhausted and slightly nauseous. I know I’m not sick, but I definitely feel off. I feel pregnant. But I couldn’t possibly be pregnant. I’m not going to get my hopes up. June 26th, I know this feeling. But I CAN’T be pregnant. I don’t ovulate on my own, I’ve always needed help to get pregnant. I’m not even having regular periods, there’s no way I ovulated and we happened to be intimate at the right time. I know this feeling though; it doesn’t feel like anything else. Is it possible God has a surprise baby in my plan? I just can’t get my hopes up, I don’t want to read a negative pregnancy test and be heartbroken once again. The next day I tell Kevin how I’ve been feeling and he buys me a pregnancy test. I’m not sure I’m going to take it; I just can’t take the heartbreak. Getting into bed that night while saying my prayers I “made a deal” with God. I told Him that if I happen to wake up early enough to take the test before the girls woke up I would do it, but I wasn’t setting an alarm. June 28th, 6:15 am, my eyes pop open because, drumroll please… I had to go to the bathroom! Well if that wasn’t a knock on the head I don’t know what is. So I held my end of the bargain and I took the pregnancy test. As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked down there it was, that double line.

I was completely shocked, I had to rub my eyes again and again, this couldn’t be real. I was laughing, I was crying, and I was still sitting on the toilet not having even wiped yet. God really did it, He really answered my prayers and gave me a miracle baby! I tried to get my composure thinking only of telling Kevin. So I took the test and went and shook Kevin awake. He barely opened his eyes and I shoved this pee stick in his face. Poor guy! It didn’t take him but a second to realize what it was and he flung an arm around my neck and dragged me in for a very tight squeeze. We were beyond thrilled. Never in our wildest dreams did we actually think we would get pregnant without fertility treatments. This was a whole new kind of joy God had given us. On July 3rd I went in for a doctor appointment to confirm and in fact there was a teeny tiny baby in there, I was about 5 weeks along. Our precious miracle baby was on the way. We did not waste time in telling our family, it was just too exciting. One of my greatest memories is from the last time I saw my Papaw. We knew it would likely be the last time we saw him though we hoped it wouldn’t be. As Kevin and I hugged him and said goodbye he stopped us and said “hey! You know you two make some damn pretty babies…” Well thanks Papaw… “now go home and make some more!!” Well turns out that we did just that, I had conceived about 3 days later. My dad was visiting my Papaw when we found out about our little miracle and he was able to share the news. I love that my Papaw knew we were having another baby. Every person we told had an awesome reaction. But better than their reactions to the news of another baby, was their reactions to the fact that it was unplanned and without fertility treatment. Everyone close to us knew the battles we had fought, the success in our two girls and the sadness in the loss of our twins. This little baby was a true miracle, a blessing from God, and shock and joy were stretched across all those faces that love us.